Well, first of all it took us nearly 6 months to get pregnant which made me very impatient and anxious to start a family. Finally, being pregnant, our first appointment to the OB had to be rescheduled (at 10 weeks pregnant) before we could even see the doctor because misunderstanding with our insurance. I was so distraught about it because I had been looking forward to finally hearing that incredible miracle, and got turned away. So we finally got to hear our baby's heart beat at 12 weeks. Then we go in for our 17 week check up ( that was another detour we had to make and wait a few extra weeks) and they tell us that in 3 weeks we could come back for an ultrasound-I was very excited! All I could think about was that in less than 1 month we can know what to call this baby---ya right. haha By the time we left that appointment we were told we had to wait 5 weeks til we could see our baby through the ultrasound.
SOOO---it is now 3 weeks past and we still have 2 weeks to go ( technically only 11 days! )But if there is anything that I have learned its that the Lord knows and loves all of his children individually. Let me say that again- The Lord knows each of His children- you-me- the person sitting right next to you- the person who you may not see eye to eye with- He knows and loves us all.
I have gained a greater appreciation of not only the simple advances in medicine and technology that allow us to hear a baby's first heart beat, or to see the shape of that forming embryo- but also for each day that we are given to cherish those small moments...instead of wanting instant results and instant gratification. Patience has been said to be a virtue----I testify that it is! It gives us a greater perspective of who we are and what is truly important.
(20 weeks)
I was so caught up in wanting the 5 weeks to go by so fast that I failed to recognize and remember that time is not what is going to pass me by- it's the moments that make each day precious that will be gone and never given back. As I realized this one night ( last week) I began to ponder and look at my growing belly and imagine what the baby was thinking, feeling, hearing, etc. Then, something I hadn't expected happened---- I felt my baby move. It was the most exciting thing! It's amazing what happens when you pause a few seconds and just 'listen.'
I know that I am not perfect, but I also know that because i'm not perfect I get the greatest opportunities each day to grow and learn!
I am taking a Family Life course from BYU right now and it is such a great class that I want to share a quote from something I read....
"We grow in two ways—removing negative weeds and cultivating positive flowers. The Savior’s grace blesses both parts—if we do our part. First and repeatedly we must uproot the weeds of sin and bad choices. It isn’t enough just to mow the weeds. Yank them out by the roots, repenting fully to satisfy the conditions of mercy. But being forgiven is only part of our growth. We are not just paying a debt. Our purpose is to become celestial beings. So once we’ve cleared our heartland, we must continually plant, weed, and nourish the seeds of divine qualities. And then as our sweat and discipline stretch us to meet His gifts, “the flow’rs of grace appear,” like hope and meekness. Even a tree of life can take root in this heart-garden, bearing fruit so sweet that it lightens all our burdens “through the joy of his Son.” And when the flower of charity blooms here, we will love others with the power of Christ’s own love.We need grace both to overcome sinful weeds and to grow divine flowers. We can do neither one fully by ourselves. "
-Bruce C. Hafen (The Atonement: All for All)
I love the idea that this child is already blessing my life by helping me to 'pull out those weeds' and make changes! So excited for the future!Next post:
March 30th!
March 30th!
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